End of snoring ?

My husband is obviously not going to do anything about his snoring, so I have to take the matter in my own hands. I think I have seen enough ER and Grey’s Anatomy to go ahead and operate him myself. As my husband sleeps very heavily, I don’t even need an anesthesia doctor. But I might need a heart starter. If something goes wrong, I must prove my innocence. The worst case scenario, my husband dying during the operation (even George Clooney’s patients die sometimes), I must prove that it wasn’t a murder but a simple accident. Who would rent a heart starter if the purpose was killing somebody? Well, maybe a psychopath who thinks that the offer died too peacefully; let’s bring him to life again, and this time kill him in more painful way.

I know I can rent a heart starter at Hamlet for about 3000,- kr. Because of my clients’ perverse needs, I know many things. I know how much it costs to rent Krystalgade for private parking, National Gallery for a cocktail party or rent a helicopter and then throw the clients out in the open sea (I told you my clients are perverts). I also know how much I have to pay for a pretentious royal opera singer to entertain my party. No, I don’t know how much a not so pretentious opera singer costs, as far as I know, they don’t exist.

And my husband keeps telling me I have no idea what things cost!

So tomorrow I will pass by Hamlet and pick-up the heart starter. But I am getting my doubts. If my husband dies, my in-laws might be able to convince the police that I am a psychopath, and did murder my husband. This is only because they have no sense of humor. I often tell them that I have made a very favorable life insurance in their name, so I might very soon kill them. I am not so stupid I would kill them; I would hire a hit man to do the dirty work.

So I have to get rid of my husband's body if things go wrong. I saw once a film where Jean Reno got a dead man to disappear with some acid in a bathtub. That looked very easy; I think I can manage that. And as my bathtub has some annoying rubber marks from the anti-slide carpet, the acid will take care of that, too. Zwei Fliegen mit einer Klappe schlagen !