Child upbringing is a target of various conflicts in any relationship. Two people hardly agree totally how the kids should be brought up and also in our family we have at least three major topics that my husband complains about.I play too wildly and roughly with the kids.
I might sometimes kick too hard when the kids tickle me, and one of the kids might accidentally fly through the window. But I only tickle the kids because I love them; this is a good way to learn them that love hurts.
I sing revolutionary good night songs.
My husband keeps asking me why I cannot sing “Lullaby baby” like any other mom, but insist singing “Hasta siempre” when I put the kids to bed. My 6 year old daughter has also fallen for Che’s charming smile, and sings the chorus part with me:
“Aquí se queda la clara,
la entrañable transparencia,
de tu querida presencia
Comandante Che Guevara.”
My son is not that easy to convince. But being a mayor in several cities in SimCity, he has quite a few worries, and doesn’t really buy this Marxist propaganda.
I write indecent children’s literature.
We parents are asked time to time write short stories when the class mascot spends the week-end at your house. What a boring life these teddy bears with ridiculous names like Bibi or Simba have. Week-end after week-end you can read on the book; “Sarah’s / Mathias’ / Emma’s mother picked us up from the school. At home we got a glass of milk and a cookie. In the evening we saw Disney show”. HOW BORING! When it is our week-end with Bibi and my turn to write, we don’t even make it to our house; we only get to the parking lot. There we are surrounded by Arab terrorists; a helicopter lands on top of our car, and takes all four of us to Yemen to a military guerrilla camp. There we are tortured because they know we have a microfilm with nuclear secrets (hidden under Bibi's fur). There is blood, painful screaming and electric shocks, but we don’t crack. Suddenly CIA agent George C. one-handed attacks the camp, slaughters the terrorists with his Japanese sword and frees us (I write very detailed how the body parts fly over the camp).
My stories are quite popular amongst the children, but the teachers usually send a note home; “Less violence and pornography next time, please”. Well, how could I know that the CIA agent George C. frees me just when I am taking a bath in Sheik al-Wahoud’s (the rich Emirate oil sheik sponsoring the criminal activities) tent? And as CIA agent George C. has been living in jungle with memory loss for two years, without any female company, he just can’t help falling for my naked body. Of course after he first brutally has executed Sheik al-Wahoud.
My son is not that easy to convince. But being a mayor in several cities in SimCity, he has quite a few worries, and doesn’t really buy this Marxist propaganda.
I write indecent children’s literature.
We parents are asked time to time write short stories when the class mascot spends the week-end at your house. What a boring life these teddy bears with ridiculous names like Bibi or Simba have. Week-end after week-end you can read on the book; “Sarah’s / Mathias’ / Emma’s mother picked us up from the school. At home we got a glass of milk and a cookie. In the evening we saw Disney show”. HOW BORING! When it is our week-end with Bibi and my turn to write, we don’t even make it to our house; we only get to the parking lot. There we are surrounded by Arab terrorists; a helicopter lands on top of our car, and takes all four of us to Yemen to a military guerrilla camp. There we are tortured because they know we have a microfilm with nuclear secrets (hidden under Bibi's fur). There is blood, painful screaming and electric shocks, but we don’t crack. Suddenly CIA agent George C. one-handed attacks the camp, slaughters the terrorists with his Japanese sword and frees us (I write very detailed how the body parts fly over the camp).
My stories are quite popular amongst the children, but the teachers usually send a note home; “Less violence and pornography next time, please”. Well, how could I know that the CIA agent George C. frees me just when I am taking a bath in Sheik al-Wahoud’s (the rich Emirate oil sheik sponsoring the criminal activities) tent? And as CIA agent George C. has been living in jungle with memory loss for two years, without any female company, he just can’t help falling for my naked body. Of course after he first brutally has executed Sheik al-Wahoud.
2 kommentarer:
Det er tydeligt, at de lærere, der kræver mindre sex og vold, er helt ude af trit med tidsånden.
Hvad med dig, er du som lærer med på tiden ? Får du dine elever til at læse spændende nok litteratur med masser af vold & sex...? Du skulle nødigt skuffe din lokale fauna på Amager men du kan jo altid som bifag introducere dem til dine erotiske mangahæfter.
Ja, jeg morer mig enormt over din blog, du er bare for sjov.
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