Things we regret

I don’t believe a word when people say they don’t regret anything they have done. This is so bullshit, everybody would change something, some people would change about everything. Many songs lyrics are also full of this crap, like the beautiful Julie’s wonderful song, Completely fallen; “Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't go and change a thing”.

I would change thousands of things. Not even thinking about the more philosophical choices in my life, there are a lot of banal things that I wouldn’t have done:

- I wouldn’t have parked the car illegally twice in one week resulting two bloody parking tickets.

- I wouldn’t have put the car in reverse instead of first gear and making a huge whole in electric hence and causing a getaway for 2000 cows.

- I wouldn’t have been drinking too much peppermint snaps when skiing with friends, and hitting a tree afterwards.

- I wouldn’t have surprised a boyfriend one morning entering his apartment with the key he had given me. It is funny how it only takes one second for a boyfriend to become an ex-boyfriend when you find him in bed with another girl. I certainly wouldn’t have kicked him in the balls causing him lifelong impotence, now I must fear he one day sues me for this.

- I wouldn’t have provoked a Cuban police officer to confiscate my passport. I did get it back and didn’t have to arrive in Denmark in a container ship, but I had some quite awful flash backs about the prison in “Midnight Express”.

- I wouldn’t have ignored my physics teacher’s whispering when he always a few days before an exam told me what I should particularly study.

- I wouldn’t have broken Tomeo’s heart so brutally, his revenge was gruesome (but sophisticated).

- I wouldn’t have gone to toilet just in the beginning of Palme d’Or Award Show in Cannes; they didn’t let me in again before the evening was over. I got to see Gregory Peck though.

- I wouldn’t have believed the midwife when she said I can do it without epidural when giving birth first time.

- I wouldn’t have started this list; I can go on for years. I can see that the only solution for settling with my past (which apparently is one long embarrassment) is to become a newborn Christian.