One cup of coffee = xxx litres of water

I drink far too much coffee and keep saying that I should quit drinking it or at least drink less. But just saying that is as absurd as I would say tomorrow I will become Afro-American. I cannot, I won’t, it’s just not gonna happen.

But in these green times I should really reconsider. Do you know how much water is used to produce just one cup of coffee? 220 litres! The coffee plant, just like cotton, is very water demanding (a pair of jeans is equal to 11.000 litres of water).

Before was excessive alcohol use something to be ashamed of and people tried to hide their red wine in coffee cups. These days one must fear being regarded as environmental pig, are people putting their coffee in wine glasses now?

Does God exist?

No if God is equal to justice and fairness. Why does this guy get sexier and more charming for each year that passes by while we women wear out like a pair of jeans?

Quand vient le soir
N'allez pas croire
Qu'on fera l'amour dans le noir
Et dans la chambre
Elle rit, elle ment
Et moi, je meurs
D'amour pour elle

Julien Clerc, "La jupe en laine"

Things we fear

A friend of mine told me a story about her childhood that explains some of her strange behaviour today. I don’t want to mention her by her real name, let’s just call her Ane (any similarity to any living person is purely coincidental).

Ane had (she still has, the proof that there was no reason to be afraid) 3 smaller sisters and sometimes she had to babysit them. If one of the sisters wanted her to sleep with her, Ane always insisted sleeping next to the wall. This was to protect herself if a gun man entered the room; the gun man would shoot the sister first.

I was always wondering why Ane always insists that I enter a café, a shop or cinema first. Now I know. If there is a gun man waiting, he will shoot me first.

Life before computers

The kids often wonder what we did when we were children as there were no computers. This is the answer:

I remember it being quite harmless. Or was there maybe some one who got so addicted that she played it for 70 hours without interruption and collapsed?

Wise words...

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."

Ernest Hemingway (wonderful author, real life macho pig and the one who didn't wear underwear)

My new orthopaedic surgeon

My orthopaedic surgeon couldn’t help me any more so he sent me to a colleague. He might also have gotten offended when I took the earplugs on when he begun his preacher about how high heels are bad for women. I told him I wouldn’t listen to it but he just kept going. Come on, I am one of those women whose femininity is totally depended on the size of the heels. I do envy women who in fact feel feminine in their flat Ecco shoes, but I don’t belong to them.

This new orthopaedic surgeon was a real macho man; his kittel was wide open, he was wearing a net shirt under it, and thick, black hair was popping out all over his body. Perfect! This is a guy who would never ever start talking about giving up high heels; he is a man and can see that I am a woman. And quite right, he promised to fix my toe so that I can wear as much high heels as I want to as long as I will live. Amen.

Indecent proposals 3

I still have no idea how I get the money for the eye surgery. I wonder if there is any expire date for suing someone for sexual harassment? Then I could sue my physics teacher from lycée (the one always whispering the exam assignments to me in advance). He was supervising my French exam at baccalaureat and made a quite indecent proposal to me. Funny enough I didn’t get shocked, I just giggled very stupidly. But as he must be very old today, he cannot certainly remember this. I can tell the court how I instead cried of anxiety and shame. How much would this bring me? Enough also for a liposuction and a breast job?